Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize