the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
