Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
