Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
