giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Pants are for mortals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Two words: nipple clamps
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