I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
