There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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