I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
