this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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