i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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