Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
