I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
