I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize