How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
