So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
