try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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