we have pet lesbian snakes
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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