the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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