im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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