I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
