when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I looked at my own cervix.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
