How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
