By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
sex in a hospital.. check
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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