Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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