Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
