i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
