Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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