Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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