Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
