oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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