i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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