The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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