I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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