I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
