she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
