I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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