Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
