There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
