I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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