but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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