I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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