After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
