Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im drinking this country out of the recession.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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