Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
