better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
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Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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