some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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