I have demons in me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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