You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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