what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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