She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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