Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
