How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
