Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
