Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
