I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
