Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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