I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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