In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
