So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
