R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
