Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
