I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
