But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
