I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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